Yep...They Matter

When looking back at this past week, my initial thoughts were that “school topics” were overridden by my attendance at two funerals and a Hall of Fame induction.  However, as I thought about it more, the message from each of those three events is really the most important school topic to consider which is “relationships matter.”  

     As you can imagine, those in attendance at each of the funerals did not focus on the accomplishments of the individuals being remembered but instead the relationships which were formed.  A similar scenario took place at the induction ceremony. This year’s inductees to the Aurora Alumni Association Hall of Fame included Martin Calfee ((Distinguished Alumni) and Ted Linden (Honored Educator).  Martin is an accomplished businessman as demonstrated through taking over a fledgling business with annual sales of 250,000 per year to one which now includes 30 locations with over 15 million dollars of annual sales.  However, the people that spoke about him at the induction along with Martin himself emphasized the relationships that were formed while at Aurora was what made the difference. Ted was nominated by a former student and her son who BOTH had Ted during his career.  They emphasized Ted’s biggest impact was not what he taught, but the relationships that he formed which was evident even though both were literally a generation apart. Ted also mentioned the strong relationships with the staff at Harmon as a key factor to keeping his priority on forming relationships with his students.  

     In a 2017 post titled Guilty As Charged, I admitted that if someone asked what I taught I would answer “Biology” or “Chemistry,” rather than answer “I teach kids.”  Ultimately, that is what we do though...isn’t it?. The curriculum is really just the medium in which we work. Nurturing young people to develop as learners prepared for life starts with forming relationships.  One of Pat Ciccantelli’s (our Superintendent) favorite quotes is “Kids don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” which is the same message as Rita Pierson famous TedTalk (Every Kid Needs a Champion),  in which she states “kids don’t learn from people they don’t like.” Both emphasize the message that relationships matter.  Those relationships are especially important when things are not going as planned. Sean Achor, author of the Happiness Advantage, points to research that supports the importance of relationships in his last key principle labeled “Social Investment” (a.k.a. relationships).  Ross Greene also emphasizes, in Lost at School that the first step in working with young people struggling with behavioral issues in school is to “achieve the best possible understanding of a kid’s concern or perspective related to a given problem” (Greene, 2014, p.79).  Sounds like forming relationships to me.   

     It is easy to not see the forest because of all the trees.  Sometimes in schools we need to step back in order to see the big picture that relationships are key to accomplishing all the “other stuff” even though that “other stuff” is important.  I am hoping that it won’t take another sad event such as a funeral or even a celebration like the induction ceremony to remind me that relationships are THE “school topic” we should focus on first and….yep...they matter.  

References

Greene, Ross. (2014).  Lost at School: Why Our Kids with Behavioral Challenges Are

    Falling Through the Cracks and How We Can Help Them. New York, NY: Scribner.